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23.5.3
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen! MH:n tämänkertainen otsikko Kylteissä löytyy on peräisin Sir Tarmolta, joka kolautti iimelilaatikkooni kokoelman hykerryttäviä kylttitekstejä maailmalta. Hän oli puolestaan saanut ne Lady Niinalta Baselista. Kiitokset molemmille! Pistelin huvikseni tekstit erikokoisiin kehyksiin ja leikittelin väreillä. Näette, mitä webissä käytettävällä html-kielellä saa aikaan. Fonteilla ei valitettavasti voi ihmeemmin leikitellä, sillä vain muutaman tavallisimman fontin olemisesta vastaanottajan koneella voi olla edes lähes varma. Niin kehykset, tekstit kuin väritkin syntyvät siis kaikki Teidän selaimissanne: ne eivät ole grafiikkaa, vaan pelkkää html-koodia. Siksi tämä viesti ei ole kooltaan ollenkaan suuri. Grafiikkaa ovat vain MH:n otsikko ja "allekirjoitukseni" - ja tietenkin tausta. |
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
|
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for |
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
|
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. |
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel,
across from a Russian Orthodox monastary:
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You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily, except Thursday. |
Outside a Paris dress shop:
| Dresses for street walking |
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
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It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. |
In a Tokyo Hotel:
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Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is, please not to read notis. |
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
| Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists |
In a Rome laundry:
|
Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. |
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
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Take one of our horse-driven city tours! We guarantee no miscarriages. |
In a Swiss mountain inn:
| Special today - no ice cream. |
In the window of a Swedish furrier:
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Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin |
In a Japanese hotel:
|
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid |
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
|
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar |
In the office of a Roman doctor:
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Specialist in women and other diseases |
From a Japanese information booklet
about using a hotel air conditioner:
|
Cooles and Heates:
If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. |
Italian Hotel Brochure:
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This hotel is renowned for its piece and solitude. In fact,crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude. |
On a chinese menu:
|
Special cocktails for women with nuts |
Outside a country shop:
| We buy junk and sell antiques |
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
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Would you like to ride on your own ass? |
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
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We take your bags and send them in all directions |
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:
|
To stop the drip, turn cock to right |
Terveisin
Artosin kotisivut: moninkertainen hupi -sivulle